We all have done it from time to time, posting numerous selfies on Facebook, one after the other, hoping to get as many likes as possible. We feel validated as we get positive comments and as the likes pile up.
Have you noticed how posting on social media sites can be addictive? Like any drug, it starts off seeming like something fun and harmless. You post a few images of yourself on the beach, and suddenly dozens of your friends have liked or shared them. Feels good, doesn’t it?
However, in time, we can become caught in a vicious cycle of continuously needing positive feedback on our posts. If the likes and shares are missing – a part of us feels missing too.
It can be a tragic situation.
What’s missing isn’t others’ approval, it’s self-esteem.
Becoming dependent on likes and shares for our happiness is a difficult addiction to break.
Your mobile device holds your attention – and often holds you hostage.
The first step in learning to escape is to understand that needing constant likes and shares is usually a symptom of low self-esteem. If you can learn to boost your self-esteem, you’ll be able to break the mental and emotional chains that bind you.
I’ll be honest with you, though. Building and maintaining self-esteem is not an easy task. You’ll need to work on it daily and know and practice the most effective tips and techniques. (Luckily, I’m about to share these with you!)
Self-esteem determines how you feel and think about yourself.
Why should you care about self-esteem? This question can be answered with another question: Do you care about yourself?
If you have low self-esteem, you may feel inferior and worthless. With high self-esteem, you’ll have the opposite qualities: confidence and value.
In other words, you should definitely care about your self-esteem. It’s vitally important for your personal well-being, happiness and success in life.
With high self-esteem, you’ll find yourself living a simpler, stronger and more purposeful life.
It’s the difference between a failed actor and someone like Tom Cruise. The first guy probably lacked self-belief, while Cruise has gone on to become one of the world’s most successful actors. He’s talented for sure, but he also possesses powerful self-esteem.
The magic of boosting self-esteem lies within you.
As we’ve seen, your happiness and success in life depend on your level of self-esteem.
Let’s take a look now at seven ways you can increase your self-esteem (without becoming an egomaniac!).
Never, ever, expect perfection.
Have you noticed that when you constantly seek perfection – life often disappoints you? While it’s certainly a good idea to aim high, don’t get caught in the ‘perfection trap’. It can prevent you from taking advantage of new opportunities, as well as blocking your ability to finish things.
As an example, think of a time when you were seeking a new job. You may have overlooked the ideal role simply because it didn’t tick all your preconceived boxes.
Contribute to society.
If you’re too busy helping others less fortunate than yourself, then you won’t have time to worry about your low self-esteem. In fact, by contributing to society, you’ll definitely boost your self-esteem. Helping others makes you feel good about yourself.
So, why not put this into practice by finding ways to contribute to society? These could take the form of voluntary work or random acts of kindness.
Live healthily every day.
You’ve no doubt come across sloppy people who don’t seem to care about their appearance or their lives. Don’t be like them. If you want a happy and successful life, you need to focus on your health.
Through correct diet and exercise, you can not only look good – but feel good too. It’s amazing how much you can raise your self-esteem through this method. You’ll have more energy, more confidence and will begin to attract success to you.
The key is to make small changes that you can stick to. For example, don’t go immediately from eating meat daily to a strict vegan diet.2 Instead, gradually wean yourself of meat by reducing your weekly intake.
Recognize triggers to low self-esteem.
Difficult events like separating from a partner or losing a job can trigger a rapid fall in your self-esteem. It’s critical at these times to make an extra effort to maintain your balance, poise and self-belief. Eliminate thoughts such as: “I always mess things up,” and replace them with positive imagery such as one door closing… and another one opening.
Focus on what you do well.
If you look around at others, you’ll instantly see that they can do many things better than you. If you allow this comparison, you’ll inevitably feel weak and inferior. However, you don’t need to think like this.
Every one of us is unique. This means that we also have unique talents. Your boss may be great at decision making, whereas you might excel at customer service. The trick is to find what you’re good at and focus on this. Don’t try to be a jack of all trades!
Set challenging goals.
How many times have you been told to set goals, but have chosen to ignore this advice? Lots of times no doubt. I sympathize with you, as I used to be like that too. Goal setting seemed liked a good idea, but I never got around to doing it! Fortunately, in recent years I’ve learned that goal setting really does work.
To convince yourself of the power of goal setting, start off with a few easy goals such as: walking or cycling to work a few days a week, adding a few extra dollars a month to your savings account, and giving more of your time to loved ones.
Do what you love and have fun!
Low self-esteem can be associated with lethargy, anxiety and even depression. Don’t get dragged down into these ‘joy-killers’. Instead, make an effort to have fun at all times – and lighten up your life!
There are countless ways to have fun, but here are some of the best ones: spend time with friends who know how to laugh, watch a funny movie, seek humor that’s hidden in serious situations. By learning to laugh and enjoy yourself, you’ll naturally boost your self-esteem. You’ll also have a positive influence on people you interact with.
So, there you have it.
I’ve revealed what self-esteem is, why you should value it – and how to boost it.
Now, it’s over to you.
Focus less on how many likes and shares you’ve received today, and instead, focus on the things that really matter in life. As you raise up your self-esteem, you’ll find new energy and purpose.
Life is a journey. Just make sure you’re traveling in the right direction.